Come gather 'round me, people, and I'll tell you a tale
Of how to steal a million dollars and not go to jail
Well, if you don't believe me, then take a look around
'Cause a lot of folks are doin' it and none are prison-bound

Oh, but it helps to be the President's son
Yeah, it helps to be the President's son
President's son

Well, come you common criminals, you muggers and thieves
To all of you robbers, here's a deal you won't believe
Steal all the money that you want, all the money that you canAnd if you need more, well, just ask our government

And it's good to be the President's son
Yeah, it's good to be the President's son
President's son

Come gather 'round me, people, and I'll tell you a tale
Of how to rip off the country and not go to jail
Just open yourself an S&L and do what you feel
And remember the example of our friend Neil

It pays to be the President's son
Yes, it pays to be the President's son
I wish I were the President's son
President's son
I wish I were the President's son
President's son